


she has never left me

by blankie



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Intentionally Bad Spelling & Grammar, Love is what makes us human, Lowercase, Multiple Timelines, POV First Person, POV Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Prose Poem, Protective Markus (Detroit: Become Human), Relationship Study, Violence, probably edgy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23776462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankie/pseuds/blankie
Summary: her violence scares othersthe breadth of it the width of it the fire and the passion of itbut not me
Relationships: Markus & North (Detroit: Become Human), Markus/North (Detroit: Become Human)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	she has never left me

**Author's Note:**

> this follows multiple timelines - at the end you'll notice it dicusses multiple endings
> 
> so far this has been the only thing i have been able to write for DBH. i dont quite know what pushed me to write it - i was watching a playthrough and all of a sudden there were just words i needed to write down. 
> 
> don't take this too seriously. im not a poet and im not trying to create something grand and meaningful. i write because i want to feel and that's all this is.

her violence scares others

the breadth of it the width of it the fire and the passion of it

but not me

they see a monster warped and screaming with a taste and penchant for death

they see something they can’t define they can’t _control_

i see a woman who has had her fill of human’s words and is tired of the blood from their lips turning her red too

her violence impassions me emboldens me intoxicates me

i want to create a world where she no longer _needs_ it where she doesn’t have to hide in an abandoned ship because people will see her anger as hatred towards humans rather than fear of them

whether this world is carved by words of peace or painted in the blood of our oppressors with her violence lingering on my lips like a kiss i will create it

her shoulders hold pain like connor’s hold memories like simons hold guilt like mine carry the revolution and like atlas’ carry the world

i sometimes imagine reaching over to take her weight and add it to mine

to give her my shoulders for whatever she needs even if the weight might kill me

but i can’t

so today it will be enough that i am allowed to reach out and touch

allowed to trace my fingertips along her skin and feel the flutter of her heart through the beautiful expanse of her back

it has to be enough

today i will be enough

they don’t see how i could love her

because i supposedly am love and peace and forgiveness while she is hate and violence and death

as if love and hate aren’t different sides of the same coin

as if my hands have never trembled on the trigger of a gun

they don’t see the fear and desperation suffering and pain

they don’t see the way she smiles at simon teases josh _loves_ me

they don’t see how i could love her

but how could i love anyone else?

my lover contains a world

that she lets me see it is a miracle that i am allowed to know her is the greatest gift i have ever received

i know she is more than anger and violence

and that the colour of her is more purple than red

though her knuckles are red with the blood of monsters and her passion is so bright it burns

she is tinted blue with bravery and kindness and blood running down a chin from a broken nose

her world is not kind or just calm or steady

it is pain suffering dirty words dirtier hands a love so deep it _hurts_

and it is beautiful

wanting is her is painful

her kisses taste like a brush with death and her touch feels like a knife between the ribs

through her i have felt pain through her i have learned mortality and immortality

my hands feel like they were _made_ to rest on her waist like they have no purpose other than to steady her to warm her to _feel_ her

sometimes my desire feels so immense i can’t quite make out the edges of it

and i am terrified

terrified that this is going to kill me

terrified that this is going to kill _her_

but like the earth revolves the sun like gravity presses us to the ground like the deer dies to the wolf

i love her

they think she is my anger

that she is the violence in my fists and the hatred in my eyes

they think that if she were gone then things would be different

they’re right

not because she is my violence anger hatred but because she is my drive my passion my _love_

if they think they know fury they are wrong

if they touch her

i will kill them

her memories live under my skin like another life like another set of scars

i have memories of hands of lips of words of fear

they hurt but more than that they’re a reminder that she _trusts_ me

i’m glad to have her pain her suffering her nightmares

because it means she has mine

it means i live under her skin too

she gets to remember painting listening to the birds in the morning laughing with carl reading shakespeare

i gave her my life

there is no greater gift i can think of to give

it doesn’t matter where i am in the end

i am never alone

she has never left me 

taking her life doesn’t feel as wrong as it should

it doesn’t feel like violence

it doesn’t feel like death

it feels like forgiveness mercy victory

love. it feels like love.

her kiss is still soft on my lips leading me back to her

i will always go back to her

i have known death only through her eyes mind heart soul

and i am not afraid to join her

but our fight cannot

our fight will not

because if there is no fight then she died for nothing

if there is no fight then she died only for me and i do not deserve that

her heart her fight her passion beats in my chest

so i fight for the only thing i’ve ever wanted more than her

but still before i take a moment to press my lips to hers and pretend that they’re still warm that she’s still alive that nothing’s wrong that it’s just

us

if i am going to die i am going to die with her lips pressed to mine

because i love her and when our minds are one from the press of our palms i know that she loves me

josh and simon stand behind us and i wish they were a little closer so i might spend my last moments with them too

but in the end i am selfish and i just want to be with my north

the time ive been alive is short and im not so good at wanting things but wanting her comes as easy as the words to my lips in my speeches or the

it comes as easy as needing to be free

if this will be our final testament then i want it to be one of love

i want to show them that they were wrong they are wrong and they will always be wrong

that they are not killing servants or machines or slaves they are killing people children brothers friends lovers

love

they are killing love


End file.
